Public Service Announcement 

Friends, family, human beings: this is not your typical horse blog post. Instead, i would like to take this time to make a Public Service Announcement regarding basic etiquette and manners while flying on commercial airlines with other human beings, especially during the holiday season:
Middle seat gets both arm rests. Aisle gets extra leg room and easy bathroom access. Window gets a wall to sleep on and window controls. Choose your seat ahead of time and accordingly.
Don’t block the boarding area. You’re slowing down boarding and innovation and progress and basically the world, and I promise you’ll get your turn to board too
Please shower before flying
Brush your teeth or pop a mint before flying if your breath smells like ass
Don’t touch other people you’re sitting next to
Don’t blast music so that other people can’t sleep
Don’t put your seat all the way back unless you’re sleeping on a red eye and everyone else is too
If you snore, be prepared to be woken up by others. It’s not fair that you get to sleep soundly and the rest of us have to listen to you nearly suffocate over and over again
Check the aisles before going to the bathroom. You cannot get past the flight attendants and their cart, and leaning on everyone else’s seats while you wait is a dick move
Don’t hit people with your bags while boarding 
Don’t put your roller bag in sideways. Wheels out please; you’re not the only one who has to put a bag up there
Don’t give new moms a dirty look when their baby starts crying. It’s not their fault, and they’re doing the best they can. You were once that kid too
Don’t put your small items in the overhead compartment before others have put up their large bags that have to go up there. Same for coats 
Don’t smoke a cigarette right before boarding; your clothes will stink
Don’t bathe in perfume before boarding; some people are actually allergic to perfume, and most humans enjoy not having to gasp for air
Make sure your kids are behaving: adults, please separate your children if flying with more than one. No one needs two unsupervised kids kicking them in the back for an entire flight. 
Don’t manspread unless you plan on paying me back for my seat too 
Don’t bring on smelly food. It’s gross
Don’t eat Mexican or any high fiber foods right before boarding. You will be mocked for farting by myself and every other child on the plane that I can get to chant with me
Basically be aware of your surroundings, respect other people’s space, and don’t be a dick
Sincerely,
Every other human being on your flight 
Ps: if I missed something, please add it to the list. This needs to exist 🙏

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