I Like Big Shows and I Cannot Lie

You other riders can’t deny. That when a rider struts out with an itty bitty paint and a major course complaint, you get pumped.

Wanna pull up tough, ’cause you know that girl ain’t placing. Deep in the TS’s she’s wearing. I’m cheesing and I can’t stop staring.

Oh pony, I wanna horsenap ya. And beat your rider. My home barn tried to warn me, but that rider you got makes me unworried.

Okay enough Sir Mixalot, but yes this was a true story. Some girl came out of the Level 0 jumpers at HITS complaining that the course was set for bigger horses, and she had a rather small paint. Given that I ride the smallest Hanoverian/ TB ever created, I didn’t feel bad for her. #Makeitwork

Moving on! I learned SO MUCH at HITS Culpeper last Friday. Here are my key notes:

1) I’ve been walking, and thus riding, incorrectly my whole damn life, and no one’s ever told me.

Fun fact, apparently I put most of my weight on the outside ball of my foot and not the inside ball of my foot. This is wrong. Here is why:

Weight on the outside of my feet = cowboy legs that don't touch the saddle over fences
Weight on the outside of my feet = cowboy legs that don’t touch the saddle over fences
Weight on the inside of my feet = legs touch the saddle. Huzzah!
Weight on the inside ball of my feet = legs touch the saddle. Huzzah!

Wow. 26 years of walking and 18 years of riding and I’m just NOW figuring this out?? Blows my mind.

2) Rated shows aren’t ridiculously expensive if you go with a team. Basically I could go to a long distance rated show for about $100 a day, which is what I typically spend on vacation anyways. Who needs vacations when you have horse shows? #whereisthewine

3) My boots suck. I have the Ariat Challenge field boot, and after somewhere around 6 or 7 years of riding in them, the inside of my calf is still as slippery and solid as the first day I wore them despite never having cleaned that part. My feet slide everywhere. My heels can’t go as far down as they can in my paddock boots. My calves are not that big. They’re just not working for me. I didn’t want to immediately jump on the Parlanti’s train, so I went to Dover Saddlery (LOVE THIS PLACE, best selection, customer service, and return policy IMO). They had me try on a few Tredstep models, but I just didn’t believe that they would soften as much as I wanted them to, and the lady couldn’t be sure either.

Does anyone have any experience with either Tredstep or Partlanti’s (preferably off the rack ones)?

4) On page 21 of the USEF jumper rules handbook, it states, “3. Width: a. All courses require a minimum of three obstacles in which the spread exceeds the height by 5 cm (2”) up to 15 cm (6”). (See JP122.7) b. Triple Bars may be up to 30 cm (12”) wider than the height listed.” Fun fact: they’re not joking. Even though the Level 1 jumpers were only 2’11”, boy they felt higher with that width! Combine that with a bigger stride and a faster pace and sharper turns, and I was done after 2 classes. Really one was probably enough, but I can’t bring myself to spend that much on a day where I only do 1 class. #YOLO

And for your viewing and critiquing entertainment, please see links below to my Level 0 and Level 1 classes. Level 0 had better eq but I didn’t place, and Level 1 had terrible eq but I still got 7th somehow… yay jumpers!

Level 0 Jumpers AKA my elbow feel funny

Level 1 Jumpers AKA fire fire fire

Good: my turns in the air because I’ve been practicing. Bad: everything about my lower leg because I can’t walk/ride. Oh well, off to relearn everything I thought I knew!

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10 comments

  1. Oh my god I just died. You have a future in the horse rap industry. Also given that there was a girl riding a pony the size of a guinea pig, the girl on the paint was just being a poor sport.
    We both need to go relearn how to do ALL THE THINGS. And make tshirts with Terri-isms.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very interesting that you love Dover…..I’m definitely not their biggest fan at all (ask Olivia how I feel about SmartPak lol). Glad HITS was a good learning experience for you! 🙂

    Like

    • Oh I am OBSESSED with SmartPak! But I can’t deny that I love Dover’s return policy. I bought those Ariats there and will definitely be returning, once I figure out what boots to buy next. Would love the Parlanti’s but I’m weary of 2-3 months of painful break in time!

      Like

  3. you guys look great!! congrats on a successful outing! also i like my tredsteps but they can fit a little funny in the calf so definitely try them on to make sure you like the fit. otherwise tho i’m quite happy with the leather

    Liked by 1 person

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